Upon recently reaching 5,000 followers on Twitter, someone had a great idea: I should give away something free! I think other people have had this idea for a long time. We call those BitTorrent geeks.

This time, however, they actually asked my permission! See what happens when you say please? (Note: please do not say “please” in the aftermath of this webpost. It only works once.)

Originally, I was going to select a winner in some way that is creative and fun. I was informed, however, that lawyers do not like creative and fun, and that I might run afoul of lottery laws if I did anything that burbled with personality.  So on Friday night I will be randomly selecting, with the help of some internet randomizer, 5 lucky winners! No purchase necessary!!

If you were not in the first 5,000, but you do follow me before Friday, it is quite likely that the randomizer will be simply too stupid to screen you out. (This is why I was a terrible disciplinarian when I was a teacher. The hard luck cases get me every time: “Ah, but Mr. Weeks! My syphilitic cat threw up on my homework!” “Um, yuck. Ok, turn it in tomorrow.”)

I will contact the Lucky Five on Monday. And remember, lottery games should not be played for investment purposes. Unless, you know…